The Breakwaters

This past year has been a whirlwind. The move itself was blessedly uneventful (for me at least). God has made Kathy stronger than she could have ever have believed during this past year. He has been our rock in this storm; a breakwater when the waves threatened to pummel our small family.

In December of 2013 I was diagnosed with Grade 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme (a very aggressive brain cancer that to this date has no cure).  However, the last few MRI's I've had, has shown no tumor growth (Thank You LORD!!!).

Kathy and I have both come to terms with reality. Barring a miracle, I'm only going to live a few to several years longer. Only God knows. But you see, the real miracles are constantly happening all around us. We need only to keep our eyes open to see them.

A beautiful, loving wife.

A happy, healthy toddler.

The support of our families.

Our little house on the canal.

I have learned to see God in every situation. Every breeze that invigorates me while I walk is sure to send prayers of thanksgiving skyward.

Sure, I've had my ups and downs. I've had to change chemo regimens, as well as my seizure medications. And lately I've had issues with forgetting things (not that my mind was a steel-trap before). But for the most part, my mind is clearer, and I am grateful for it.

Not bad for a guy with a terminal brain cancer diagnosis.

I have never felt better since my diagnosis and am on a plan to stay healthy. I'm walking more, eating better and going to the gym. I will not just “give up” and let my life spiral out of control. I have come to realize how precious life truly is.

You see, every morning I awake and realize that I have been given one more day to live (sometimes I don't figure this out before my morning cup of Cuban Coffee). Every day I hold dear, every moment that I can spend with my wife and my daughter, I consider priceless.

People wonder how it is possible for me to have such joy in the face of death. My faith in Christ is my wall and shield. I'm safely kept in His Hands.

He will protect me from the storm.

“Till He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand.”*

Joe Boronat

*Owl City - “In Christ Alone”

Reflecting Grace

As an employee of the Town of Culpeper, one of my responsibilities is to buff out scratches that build up over time in our facility’s waxed floors.

You see, by buffing the floors with a rough pad, you remove a very thin layer of wax, and the true glory of the floor's finish is revealed.

Strangely enough though, it is not the floor that catches your eye, but what the floor is reflecting.  As I am buffing the floors, I constantly try to see if the fluorescent light tubes which are in the ceiling above are becoming sharper.

The floor is not my focus, what the floor is REFLECTING is what I’m focused on.

It's the same thing as looking in a mirror.  You are not actually focused on the mirror itself, you are looking at what the mirror is reflecting.  The only time you actually look at a mirror is when something is wrong with it.  A streak of shaving cream or a dirty handprint distracts from the reflected image.

In these cases, the mirror calls attention to itself.

As followers of Jesus, we are called to bring glory to God by doing good works.  But how can you reflect the attributes of God without calling attention to yourself?

This past week I learned that my brain tumor has returned and I will be having another brain surgery on December 2, 2013 to see exactly what type and grade it is.  This will be followed by specific chemotherapy and radiation treatments to eliminate or shrink as much of the tumor as possible.

I was expecting this, as the doctors told us that there would be a 95% chance of the tumor returning, but it still was a surprise.  The following day at work, I moped around while telling people the “bad news”.

Now I am by nature a very positive person, so it goes to reason that my standard response to the question “How are you doing?” is “I’m doing great!”

But that morning I modified my response to “I’m doing very well despite the circumstances.”

After saying this two or three times, God grabbed me by the shirt-collar, yanked me aside, and asked me two questions.

“How are you feeling?  I mean how are you REALLY doing?”

“Um, good actually…”

“Then why are you calling attention to yourself by tacking on that disclaimer?”

He left me to chew on that for a while and I saw the point He was trying to make.

By calling attention to myself, I was not reflecting the Peace and Joy that God had so graciously given me.

I was not reflecting His Attributes.

I was not reflecting Him.

All the attention was focused on me, Joe.

The purpose of life is not to call attention to ourselves; it is to be a display of God's Grace.

What circumstances is The Lord using to "polish you up" so others may see Him more clearly?  Are we calling attention to ourselves or shining His Glory?

Joe Boronat

Matthew 5:14-16 (NLTSE)

"You are the light of the world–like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.  No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."

A Stone of Help

On my former boss’s bookshelf sat a piece of metal cut from a doorframe.  Along one of its edges it had a circular depression as if something small and round had tried to punch its way through.

That piece of deformed metal on his bookshelf was a reminder of God's help.

You see, several months earlier, he had been going about his business one Wednesday evening when he heard several loud bangs coming from the foyer of the church.  He knew that there was a teen rally going on in the sanctuary, but peeked out of the office to see what was up.

He saw a stranger wearing a black shirt and dark jeans down the hallway with a gun in his hand.  The stranger pointed the gun at him, and pulled the trigger.

All he saw was the muzzle-flash.  The bullet that was meant for him hit the doorframe instead.  He ducked back inside the office and called 911.

The gunman committed suicide, but not until after killing seven people and wounding seven more.

That twisted piece of metal was a reminder to my boss that God wasn't done with him yet.

It was an Ebenezer.

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My small hands firmly grasped the steel pipe that jutted several feet in the air.  I believe I was still in elementary school at the time. 

A while earlier (days, weeks, or months), a huge crane had been in our backyard and had slowly been driving sections of steel pipe into the ground beside our house. 

It was to be our well, but they never hit water.

My father was using an electric saws-all to cut the top off of the steel pipe.  Now a saws-all puts out a tremendous amount of cutting force which leads to major vibration as well as heat.  My job was to keep the steel pipe steady as he cut.

I remember I was looking down and hoping that the steel pipe would not fall off and hit me.  Something inside urged me to turn my head.

I moved my head just as it broke free.

Sizzling past my ear, it plummeted down and smacked the earth with a dull thud.

That memory is an Ebenezer to me.

1 Samuel 7:7-13

“When the Philistine rulers heard that Israel had gathered at Mizpah, they mobilized their army and advanced. The Israelites were badly frightened when they learned that the Philistines were approaching. "Don't stop pleading with the LORD our God to save us from the Philistines!" they begged Samuel. So Samuel took a young lamb and offered it to the LORD as a whole burnt offering. He pleaded with the LORD to help Israel, and the LORD answered him.

Just as Samuel was sacrificing the burnt offering, the Philistines arrived to attack Israel. But the LORD spoke with a mighty voice of thunder from heaven that day, and the Philistines were thrown into such confusion that the Israelites defeated them. The men of Israel chased them from Mizpah to a place below Beth-car, slaughtering them all along the way.

Samuel then took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah.  He named it Ebenezer (which means "the stone of help"), for he said, "Up to this point the LORD has helped us!"

So the Philistines were subdued and didn't invade Israel again for some time. And throughout Samuel's lifetime, the LORD's powerful hand was raised against the Philistines.”

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We ALL have Ebenezer’s in our lives.  Times that we KNOW God has helped us out of major harm or distress.  An Ebenezer is defined as a “Stone of Help.”  A marker that we can look back on and remember exactly when and where the Lord’s Hand was with us.

I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in July of 2011.  I have a picture of the MRI that shows the large dark mass.  Thanks to the prayers of many people as well as the skill of the neurosurgeons, I was completely healed.

That picture is another Ebenezer to me. 

One of many.

Now there may be some people who don’t believe as we do.  They might believe that their specific belief system is right and everyone else is wrong. 

Some people don’t believe anything that they cannot see or touch. 

Others think that religion is only a crutch for the weak. 

What about them?  Does God bless them too?

Acts 14:8-18

“While they were at Lystra, Paul and Barnabas came upon a man with crippled feet. He had been that way from birth, so he had never walked. He was sitting and listening as Paul preached. Looking straight at him, Paul realized he had faith to be healed. So Paul called to him in a loud voice, "Stand up!" And the man jumped to his feet and started walking.

When the crowd saw what Paul had done, they shouted in their local dialect, "These men are gods in human form!" They decided that Barnabas was the Greek god Zeus and that Paul was Hermes, since he was the chief speaker. Now the temple of Zeus was located just outside the town. So the priest of the temple and the crowd brought bulls and wreaths of flowers to the town gates, and they prepared to offer sacrifices to the apostles.

But when the apostles Barnabas and Paul heard what was happening, they tore their clothing in dismay and ran out among the people, shouting, "Friends, why are you doing this? We are merely human beings–just like you! We have come to bring you the Good News that you should turn from these worthless things and turn to the living God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them. In the past he permitted all the nations to go their own ways, but he never left them without evidence of himself and his goodness. For instance, he sends you rain and good crops and gives you food and joyful hearts." But even with these words, Paul and Barnabas could scarcely restrain the people from sacrificing to them.”

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May God bless you with an Ebenezer, a reminder of His Power, Mercy and Grace to keep your faith strong in Him all your days.

Joe

What's in a Name?

The world media has waited for the royal birth of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s baby even before she was pregnant. That vigil ended on July 22, 2013 when His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge met the world. He sits third in succession to the throne of England and stands to inherit not just the English Crown, but an estimated 1 Billion Pounds.

Let’s just say my job title is not that upscale.

I have worked for the Town of Culpeper as a full-time Housekeeper since November of 2012. This is the position that I interviewed for the day before Kathy gave birth to Isabella. It’s full-time with benefits, and God has surrounded me with great people. The hours are flexible which made it possible for me to stay at home during the day with Isabella during the first few months of her life.

“Housekeeping!” I’d say loudly as I knocked and entered female restrooms over the course of my work week. But as of July 1, 2013 my job title changed from “Housekeeper” to “Building & Grounds Maintenance Technician.” So whenever I knock now, I say “Maintenance!”

Scrubbing toilets for a living isn’t fun, but it’s an honest job that keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table. Many people in this economy have not been as blessed as I have. Some people feel sorry for me. Others can’t understand how I can stay so cheerful as I go about my rounds. A few weeks ago, as I was cleaning up the Police Station, a fellow Town employee looked at me with disbelief and stated, “You must really love your job.”

“It’s people that I love,” I replied with a smile. “Your attitude determines your happiness.”

You see, I don’t see myself as a custodian; it’s just what I do to earn a living for my family. I feel sorry for people who allow their job title to determine their identity. Yes, I am the Cleaning Guy. My other names include Joe, Joseph, Dada, Pastor, Joey, Uncle Joe, and Dan Marino (my buddy from the gym who happens to be a Buffalo Bills fan calls me this). These are all different names in differing contexts of relationships, but my most important title is Child of God.

Now I didn’t earn this name, it just came into clear focus one day along my spiritual journey when I realized that Jesus died for my sins. That His Blood cleansed my stained conscience. I not only had a fresh start then, but I wake up each day to a new beginning. I walk with my head held up high. Not because what I have done, but because what He has done for me.

My sojourn upon this world may never be as glamorous as a British Royal, but I have been adopted by the King of Kings and I stand to share in His Inheritance now walking with Him, as well as throughout eternity.

Joe

John 1:10-12
He came into the very world he created, but the world didn't recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.

Colossians 1:19-22
For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and through him God reconciled everything to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ's blood on the cross. This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

Hebrews 10:19-25
And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven's Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God's house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Pick A Number

Growing up as a Boronat, my family and I would often camp with my godparents in the Catskill Mountains in upstate New York.  We shared great memories, like hiking down Kaaterskill Falls, roasting our food over an open fire, and nearly freezing to death each night as the temperatures plummeted.  Then we had the not-so-great memories.  For example, my godfather, Tio Adolfo, would always ask us the same question when a chore needed to be accomplished.

"Pick a number between one and one-hundred."

"Seven, twenty-five, sixty-four (or some other number)," I or one of my siblings would answer.

"THAT IS THE RIGHT NUMBER!" he would cackle in reply, and then summarily send us off to whatever the task might be.

I thought I had figured out a loop hole when I answered him using a letter of the alphabet.

“THAT'S STILL THE RIGHT NUMBER!"

It was pretty unfair, or so I thought.  Life, it turns out, doesn’t seem fair.

Some people seem to coast through their lives on a couch of ease while the majority of others scrabble around, trying to piece together a living.  How can it be that children die of malnutrition?  And how is it that many people who would make GREAT parents cannot have children of their own?  What about those who get cancer or other diseases?

Why do “bad” things happen to “good” people?

“Religion” does not answer this basic question of existence.  Only God knows why He allows certain things to happen in our lives. 

But we can rest assured that while life may not seem fair at times, God is good and is in the process of making all things new.

Over the next few months, we are going to embark on a journey through the Book of Job.  We’ll be wrestling with many questions regarding the nature of suffering.

New Beginnings

Recently, as I was working on my taxes, my home computer stopped responding and then displayed the dreaded “Blue Screen of Death”. If you have ever used a Windows computer that suddenly crashed, you know that sinking feeling that always accompanies the following white words on a blue screen…

“Your computer has experienced a serious malfunction and is now shutting down to prevent more damage...”

Then the screen informs you that it has begun a “core dump”. It’s at this point that I ram my finger against the power button and watch with dismay as the screen blinks off.

For SOME reason, the Blue Screen of Death never appears when I’m doing something mundane like surfing the web.

I sighed, shook my head, and attempted to boot it up again; but something was seriously wrong with my computer. The information on my hard drive was fine, but it couldn’t be used to boot my computer up.

I needed a new hard drive.

I bit the bullet and purchased a new drive with twice the capacity of the old one. The process of reinstalling Windows took the better part of a day, and it took several more days before I finished installing all the programs and respective updates.

But you know what? My computer runs A LOT faster now than it did before.

There really is something special to having a fresh start. This spring has come early in more ways than one. I’m back to writing. I’m back to giving out coffee in the mornings to day laborers waiting for work. And I’m back to being a pastor again.

However, all this is viewed through a different perspective. If I have learned anything from the process of recovering from brain surgery, it has taught me to take nothing for granted.

Nothing.

Each morning, I draw aside the shades and peer out of the sliding glass door to catch a glimpse of the pre-dawn darkness.

Each dawn I witness is a special gift from God.

All this would mean nothing if it were not for Jesus. It has been many years since I gave my life to Him. Many years since I left the pain of knowing how worthless I was, and yet still, He died for my sins.

Many years since I truly believed.

Since that day, I’ve had many ups and downs, but the Holy Spirit has been my constant companion.

I am reminded of the story of “Footprints”. A man and God are walking along a beach revisiting the man’s life. As they walk, he sees his life’s high points and low valleys and is troubled by the fact that there is only one set of footprints in the valleys. He asks the LORD why He would leave him during the most difficult times, the times he needed help the most. “No my son,” the Lord gently corrects him, “it is in the valleys that I carried you.”

That first Easter morning, more than 2000 years ago, a fresh start was set in place. The sins of the past, the present and future no longer hold us in bondage. On the Cross, Jesus took the punishment we deserved for our sin. This Easter morning, we are reminded of His deliverance from the grip of death, the same deliverance promised to all who believe.

The LORD is Risen! He is Risen indeed!

Joe

Related Verses
Lamentations 3:22-26
The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the LORD.

John 20:1-18
The Resurrection
Early on Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, "They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!"

Peter and the other disciple started out for the tomb. They were both running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He stooped and looked in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he didn't go in. Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying apart from the other wrappings. Then the disciple who had reached the tomb first also went in, and he saw and believed–for until then they still hadn't understood the Scriptures that said Jesus must rise from the dead. Then they went home.

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene
Mary was standing outside the tomb crying, and as she wept, she stooped and looked in. She saw two white-robed angels, one sitting at the head and the other at the foot of the place where the body of Jesus had been lying. "Dear woman, why are you crying?" the angels asked her.

"Because they have taken away my Lord," she replied, "and I don't know where they have put him."
She turned to leave and saw someone standing there. It was Jesus, but she didn't recognize him. "Dear woman, why are you crying?" Jesus asked her. "Who are you looking for?"

She thought he was the gardener. "Sir," she said, "if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him."
"Mary!" Jesus said.
She turned to him and cried out, "Rabboni!" (which is Hebrew for "Teacher").
"Don't cling to me," Jesus said, "for I haven't yet ascended to the Father. But go find my brothers and tell them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"

Mary Magdalene found the disciples and told them, "I have seen the Lord!" Then she gave them his message.

The Road Not Taken

I’ve come a long way since undergoing brain surgery to remove a large benign tumor this past July. It has been a long four months, but I’m feeling much more myself. To wit, I’ve experienced a remarkable increase in my physical stamina (my mental endurance is getting up there as well). I still can’t drive until mid-January, so I rely on friends for transportation.

My wife starts her mornings at a local elementary school. As the gym is on the way there, she usually gives me rides if I have an early morning workout. I pulled on my hooded sweater and trench coat over my shorts and t-shirt to keep me warm on the way over.

It was in the forties outside that morning.

As we turned into the gym’s parking lot, my wife casually asked who was picking me up that day.

“Oh, I’ll find a ride,” I replied.

With a hurried goodbye, I made my way into Gold’s and proceeded to prepare for my routine. I used to go six times a week (pre-seizure), and am back to going about every other day. One of the most difficult things I’ve discovered about recovery is that you need to let your body (as well as your mind) REST.

I was a couch potato the first month out of surgery. After seeing my neurosurgeon for the three week follow-up, he was amazed at how much I had progressed. He gave me the all-clear to return to my previous activities “as tolerated.”

The next few days I returned to Gold’s with a vengeance and began walking on the treadmill. A few days later, I was on the elliptical. I was still a little shaky on my feet, but I knew I would quickly return to form.

I started going back to work at the Library, began writing and started to plan on resuming pastoral duties at The River.

That’s when my speech began to regress.

We immediately made an appointment with a neuro-oncologist at UVA. He asked what I was doing. I told him about Gold’s, the Library, writing, and planning for The River.

“What?” he replied, “You’re two months out of major brain surgery. You’re taking on WAY too much at once. Take it SLOW,” was his recommendation. We scheduled a neuro-pysch test to determine if there were any neurological deficits.

That test (which took three hours of my life and made my brain feel like jell-o) was administered and we found out a week later that I had no significant neurological deficits.

The advice that I received from the doctor who gave the test was simply to ease my way back into doing my day to day activities and not to worry about regressing. “You’ll do fine, just take lots of breaks.”

As the weeks have turned into months, I definitely began to feel like myself again…that is, until I went to the gym and noticed that I was pear-shaped.

That freaked me out. Time for me to cut back on the burgers and start some serious cardio.

I began walking two miles a day on my non-gym days.

As I couldn’t drive yet, I was faced with a dilemma as I stood outside of Gold’s Gym on that cold morning.

Walking home.

Could I? Should I?

Now, by going up West Street and cutting across Yowell Meadow Park, it’s just two miles from Gold’s to my doorstep.

My first leg of the journey took me to CVS where I picked up a prescription. The second leg took me north on West Street to my office at The River where I worked on a few things. The last leg of course had me cut across Yowell Meadow Park, up and around the path, and onwards home.

It was on Virginia Avenue, just a few blocks from my townhouse, that my eyes met with a curious sight.

It was a smallish animal, with a furry black coat, and it was facing away from me. At first glance, I thought it might be a pig, but then it turned and I immediately recognized it as a pug.

A pug (which coincidentally is spelled the same as “pig” except for “U” instead of “I”), is a smallish-sized dog which appears to have its face pushed in.

“Oh, it’s just a pug,” I thought, then proceeded to walk past on the sidewalk. It paid no attention whatsoever to me.

“ROGER!” I heard a lady shout.

As I turned towards the voice, two snarling fawn-colored pugs ran towards me.

Great.

The lady (who was suffering with a cold) asked me to stop walking or else they would follow me.

I complied; and she stooped down to pick one up. As she rose, the little animal made a ferocious snarl (obviously empowered by her owner) and snapped at me. The black pug (which had been ignoring me till this very moment) now decided that he didn’t like me at all, and so he growled as menacingly as a dog that’s only a foot high can.

“ROGER!!! COME BACK HERE!!!” she yelled at him.

Roger was too busy snarling at me to pay attention to his owner.

Normally, I would patiently wait the situation out, and assist the lady. But I had just had brain surgery, and it takes a while for your brain to rewire itself.

I had had enough.

So, I just started walking again. I didn’t care.

“ROGER! ROGER!!!” I heard her shriek as I rounded the corner.

I turned to look back, but there was no pug, just empty street.

“Well,” I thought to myself. “This little episode has given me something to write about.”

And here it is.

I have driven on these streets hundreds if not thousands of times in the five years that we’ve lived here. But I’ve only walked these paths recently because of my need to get from point “A” to point “B”.

Robert Frost’s poetic masterpiece, The Road Not Taken, ends with the following lines:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

Throughout the course of my recovery from this brain tumor, I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

Supernatural peace.

I have truly learned how to depend on God when I could hardly take care of myself. I have learned what it means to walk through the valley of the shadow of death without fear.

He is in control and I am not.

Many of the plans I had for this year have had to be postponed. No matter. God is not done with me yet!

He will give me just enough light to see where my next step should be.


Joe

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.


Psalm 18:1-6
I love you, LORD; you are my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

I called on the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path.

But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.


Psalm 119:105-112
Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. I’ve promised it once, and I’ll promise it again: I will obey your righteous regulations. I have suffered much, O LORD; restore my life again as you promised. LORD, accept my offering of praise, and teach me your regulations.

My life constantly hangs in the balance, but I will not stop obeying your instructions. The wicked have set their traps for me, but I will not turn from your commandments. Your laws are my treasure; they are my heart’s delight. I am determined to keep your decrees to the very end.