How to Milk a Bear

Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX had a faculty full of characters when I was a student there. There was one professor whose archeological digs in Palestine, as well as his penchant for riding a Harley, earned him the affectionate nickname “Indiana Jones”. Another professor, while absolutely brilliant, had a penchant for pronouncing some words in a decidedly offbeat manner (eg: ad-VER-tiz-ment instead of adverTISEment). We loved him anyways. Then there was a professor who didn’t give us a final exam one semester; he took us down to the snack bar and bought us ice cream instead (we REALLY loved him).

Then there was Dr. William Tolar. Dr. Tolar had been a fixture in the Southwestern Theology Department for the past few decades. His super-sharp intelligence would occasionally draw out a heckler among us who would try to match wits with him. Whenever someone would foolishly try to cross swords with the elder professor, the rest of us would gleefully await his quick comeback.

Derek Gentle shares the following tale involving him.

Dr. William Tolar tells the story how when he was teaching a college religion course, one young man raised his hand to ridicule the passage where Jesus told us that if our hand causes us to sin that we are to cut it off. Dr. Tolar replied, "Young man, do you believe that Jesus could have used figures of speech when He taught?" "Sure," came the reply. "Then could you give the definition of a simile?" "Yes, a simile is when you say one thing is like another thing." "Fine, now can you give me the definition of a metaphor?" "A metaphor is when you compare one thing to another without using the word like." "Thank you, now can you define for me the term hyperbole?" "Sure, hyperbole is when you exaggerate to make... a... point..."

My favorite story told by Tolar, however, was about a young man who had felt God’s call to preach one Sunday morning resulting in him being selected to teach the church that SAME evening in their Sunday Night Bible Study. Hey, if God tells you to preach, you might as well start now, right? So he goes to teach that evening and asks the gathering if there is anything that someone has a question about regarding the scriptures.

A little old lady raises her hand and confesses, “There’s one thing that has never made any sense to me.”

“Let me at it,” the young man responds confidently.

“Well, in the book of Genesis it says ‘These eight did milk a bear.’ I never got that.”

The young man thinks it over for a moment, then launches into a three-part sermon.

A. To milk a bear takes courage.
B. To milk a bear takes strength.
C. To milk a bear takes teamwork.

And that’s where the story ends, with the following epilogue: NOWHERE in scripture can you find one man (let alone EIGHT) milking a bear.

Genesis 22:23 states plainly (in the American Standard Version of the Bible), “And Bethuel begat Rebekah. These eight did Milcah bear to Nahor, Abraham's brother.”

It’s a little clearer in the New International Version, “Bethuel became the father of Rebekah. Milcah bore these eight sons to Abraham's brother Nahor.”

This lady was apparently familiar with the Bible; but may have never studied it to find the answers she sought.

Twisted interpretations of the Bible have wreaked havoc throughout the years. It has been misquoted to propagate hate, it has been misapplied to justify oppression, and misused to justify personal and national agendas.

But God is above all that.

In Bob Dylan’s song “When He returns,” he sings:
“Of every earthly plan that be known to man, He is unconcerned
He’s got plans of His own to set up His throne
When He returns”

Those who choose to follow in the footsteps of Jesus are not expected to be perfect. They are, however, expected to be seekers. To seek out God, to seek out His path for us and to seek out truth.

Are there aspects about God revealed in the Bible that make us uncomfortable? Are there questions we have about Him (or us!) that we’ve never really explored? Are we afraid of where these answers might lead us?

May we boldly seek what God would tell us through His Word.

Joe

Related Scriptures
Joshua 1:1-9
After the death of Moses the LORD’s servant, the LORD spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant. He said, “Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them. I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you— from the Negev wilderness in the south to the Lebanon mountains in the north, from the Euphrates River in the east to the Mediterranean Sea in the west, including all the land of the Hittites.’ No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.

“Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

2 Timothy 2:15-26
Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. This kind of talk spreads like cancer, as in the case of Hymenaeus and Philetus. They have left the path of truth, claiming that the resurrection of the dead has already occurred; in this way, they have turned some people away from the faith.

But God’s truth stands firm like a foundation stone with this inscription: “The LORD knows those who are his,” and “All who belong to the LORD must turn away from evil.”

In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.

NLTse